Two Days Left

I am beyond any hint of a desire to be bipartisan.

After these last 8 years? The truth is more evident than ever. Roughly 85% of Republicans work to get in the way of progress, and roughly 98% of their politicians serve the same purpose. The result of 6 years of giving them unbridled power and the two following years of lame-duck impotency have given us the biggest steaming pile since the 1930s.

We don't need to strike deals with them. What we need is the frickin' opposite of them. So fuck 'em. Let's bust some proverbial heads and chase them out with town with torches and pitchforks. Liberals have been right all along. Conservatives are more obviously wrong than any time in living memory. Debating them is time better spent making cupcakes. You may as well try to spit into your own eyeball.

Enough. They must go down.

Reaganomics and neo-conservatism must drown like a pair of starved rats that abandoned a sinking ship in the middle of the arctic ocean, with no land for miles. They must cling to each other, gasping for air, while their limbs go numb with the chill of the water. A great wave must pull them under the surface, as the icy touch of Mother Nature grips their tiny, panicking lungs with inevitable mercilessness. They must blink helplessly as they continue to sink, in their last fleeting seconds of mindless fear, before finally being swallowed live by a giant fish (that looks suspiciously like Barack Obama). They must hear nothing but their own final heartbeats in their final moments in the dark, burning yet also freezing belly of the Obamafish. Then, in an effort to let out their last, hapless squeak, they must leave their mortal coil to be dissolved into naught but nutrients and waste.


Go Obamafish go.